The Case of the Missing Mother
May the words of my mouth and this meditation of our hearts be pleasing in your sight, LORD, our Rock and our Redeemer. Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
This parable story is known by a few different titles, the most notable is the “The Parable of the Prodigal Son.” Maybe you have heard it called the “The Parable of the Two Lost Sons” or “The Parable of the Waiting Father.” What about “The Parable of Grumbling Elder Son?” Here’s one that sticks in my mind “The Parable of the Missing Mother.”
Before we go any further, let us look at what a parable is – it’s a story that has moral or spiritual meaning. On the surface, parables just seem like great stories however they are carefully crafted. A pastor friend of mine often says that “Parables turn us upside down and stand us on our heads.” Please keep that thought in mind as we look at the Parable of the Prodigal Son or the Parable of the Missing Mother.
Most of us are quite familiar with this parable and most likely have heard countless sermons about it. Preachers often focus on the errant younger son and his foolish life choices and his loving, forgiving father. It’s easy to see the message there, rebellion, remorse and reconciliation. Maybe some preachers focus on the older son, the one who is resentful, reputable and reliable.
However fewer sermons revolve around a member of the family that is not explicitly mentioned in the parable, the mother. Yes, she is missing in the text but she must have been present at some time. The sons didn’t just materialize out of thin air! She seems to be invisible but is she really? Perhaps she is there, hiding in plain sight, hiding between the lines.
Maybe she is missing because she has passed away, perhaps during the birth of the younger son. Her husband, in his grief, has a super soft spot in his heart for this baby son, now motherless. This scenario brings to mind the story of Rachel and the birth of Benjamin and the grief that Jacob carried. Perhaps the father in the parable had experienced a similar loss and coddled his younger son even when pushed to the limits.
Another less romantic reason for her being absent in the text is patriarchy. The definition of patriarchy is “a social organization marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family, the legal dependence of wives and children, and the reckoning of descent and inheritance in the male line.” This also means that men were the primary citizens and that women were basically persona non grata, useful as cooks, housekeepers and baby makers. Women under this social order were and are rarely treated as full and equal persons.
Even though patriarchy was alive and well in Jesus’ day, according to St. Luke, in both the Gospel and the Book of Acts, Jesus valued women and their place in the world. St. Luke tends to alternate men and women in his writings. Women were not only mentioned in the “victim” category but often, they held the role as hero as well. Men and women are paired together – Zechariah and Elizabeth, Simeon and Anna. This helps us to see that God calls both genders to faith.
Now let’s get back to the missing mother in the parable. There is no doubt that she is missing in the text but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t there. Let’s imagine that she is invisible to the eye – she is there watching as her younger son flees from his family, perhaps the competition and conflicts with his older brother have gotten to him. Maybe he feels like “Papa always liked you best” or he just wants to “see the world.” No matter what, her beloved son is gone! Her love for her son couldn’t keep him home and she is heartbroken.
She is not the only one who is in grief. Her husband, too, misses his son. He waits on the front porch, looking down the lane and peering over the tree line. He hardly eats or sleeps. He has been lax in helping on the farm and when he does, he is often short-tempered with anyone within earshot. Grief is consuming him and he wonders if he could have prevented the son from leaving home?
His wife, the mother of his sons, is also concerned for her first born child. He too is suffering, as he is doing most if not all the work on the farm. Yes, the servants help with the physical chores but the stress of the situation is hardening him. He is sullen and lonely. His brother is gone, even though he was often seen as a pest but nonetheless a friend.
His father is grief stricken. The whole town knows what happened and the shame his brother has inflicted on the family is evident. There has to be a way for him to rescue the family to make everything alright. The mother feels for her older son, hearing his groans and grumblings. Her heart breaks for him.
Day after day this broken family carries on as best as they can. One morning while the father and mother are on the porch together they see a person on a distant hill. They instantly recognize the familiar gait. They had witnessed their son’s first steps as a toddler, they knew how he moved.
Mom and dad begin rejoicing with shouts of gladness and hugs of joy. The mother immediately removes a ring from her finger and hands it to her husband. He reaches for a new pair of sandals he had bought in the hope that someday they could be placed upon his returning son’s feet.
Overcome with emotion, the mother sinks into a chair on the porch, tears streaming down her face as she recalls the day of his birth. That day too, she was crying tears of joy as she beheld her newborn son with unbridled love. A love that would be limitless and eternal. She will soon hold her son in her arms again.
The father too is overcome with emotion. He rushes out from the porch, running with utter abandon. He too recalls the day of his son’s birth, the first steps, all the happy days spent together. Their son is coming home, no more time for grief or mourning. A joyful embrace and a loving kiss begins the reunion. Our son is home.
Reunion, rebirth and reconciliation – tears of joy – time for celebration. All the sadness and grief over the son’s absence is gone. Rejoicing is at hand. A feast, a party is held, maybe at the mother’s suggestion but it doesn’t matter. The errant younger son is home, dirty, ragged and hungry but safe nonetheless. Joy fills the house.
However not everyone is joyful or happy. The other son, the one who has been reliable has become resentful and jealous. Grief changes people.
We hear how the father tries to reason with his older son, reassuring him that he is valued and loved. Most likely the mother also reassures her older son that there is enough love in the family to go around. The mother and father want the older son to know that they cherish all the sacrifices and efforts that have been made. He is an important member of the family and always will be.
So, was the mother really missing from the parable or just invisible to eyes? The father was fully visible and quite easily understood while the mother was quiet, constantly in the background, behind the scenes, so to speak. She watched over her family providing guidance, love and security. When this parable is preached, it's quite easy to see the father as a metaphor for God, but what about the mother being a metaphor for the Divine one too?
This hidden mother waits day after day for her errant son’s return. She waits patiently for grief and resentment to subside from her other son. She generously provides hope and healing for her family and household.
Maybe she is like God; the God we forget sometimes, the one who works hard behind the scenes, the one who carries.all the hurt and pain in a family and community yet still remains faithful in unconditional love for all.
After all, like the missing mother, God has no need to be seen or recognized or praised in order to love us. God's love is unconditional, we can not earn it nor do we merit it. Too often in our lives, the presence of God goes unmentioned and unnoticed by us.
We are too busy and distracted by the world around us to be bothered by God’s presence but that does not keep God from lavishly heaping love upon us. Just as this parable is about a family being made whole, God’s primary concern is we are made whole in God’s family.
It is in our best spiritual interest to image God neither as father or mother, but rather as a loving parent, always ready to forgive and to embrace. A parent like a father who is strong yet gentle, or one like a mother who is willing to gather and shelter us from all harm.
A parent who goes to bat for us, the one ready to die for us to protect us from harm. A parent who rushes to us when we have the courage to return home after we come to our senses that there;s no place like home with our loving parent.
Blessings on your day
Notes: Preached (Delivered) March 30, 2025 at Bethesda Lutheran Church of Malmo, Isle, MN
Second Sunday in Lent, Year C Readings: Joshua 5:9-12, Psalm 32, 2 Corinthians 5:16-21, Luke 15:1-3, 11b-32
